Dead Caterpillar

The universe is a vast cosmic conspiracy ...

So it’s early one February morning last year at the ol’ box factory. Me and some guys just clocked in and are standing in a semi-circle, sipping coffee out of our mugs and chatting about the tsunami disaster in Japan and other news headlines. The ol’ manager comes out of nowhere and says, “Alright, enough of this male version of The View. Let’s get some work done.”

Haha get it? Male version of The View. I could not stop laughing.

Ye Ol’ Blog Archive

• I’ve been getting into jazz
• How to read: a guide for adults
• Screenwriting 101: barfing
• The pinnacle
• Give a man a fish
• A tribute to noses
• Happy 100th post!
• Fuck pants
• Screenwriting 101: on TV, everyone drinks their coffee black
• Screenwriting 101: confusion is better than boredom
• Screenwriting 101: Make every character a Damn Catholic
• Planet of the Chickens
• How many social media icons should you have on your site?
• The Poop Argument
• What you might have missed watching “Cloud Atlas”
• A poem about brownies
• Dog guy
• Life tip: do it anyway
• Life tip: be thankful
• The Mighty Morphin Power Ranger Megazord Deluxe Edition by Bandai
• Snide remarks on Windows 8
• On walking
• Indecision
• An excerpt from my book …
• Why you laugh at Downey’s line: “Never Go Full Retard”
• Give it a rest, privacy whores
• Email notifications from Hell
• Why internet nerds hate internet explorer
• “This is The End” was a good time
• The Rains of Castamere
• Burnt bread is way underrated
• Why I’m a Pagan
• Idioms are for idiots
• A hard rain’s a-gonna fall
• Product Recommendation: Spotify
• Batman The Dark Knight Rises Review: Total Shit
• Prometheus was a bit thin (movie review, contains spoilers)
• Life on the beach
• Beach pic from way back when
• A message for tailgaiters
• On the subject of feet and hands
• It’s time …
• Rants on rhetoric
• The View
• Finally got around to reading Ulysses
• Not the brightest kid
• Sudden realizations
• I give you Whit Hertford
• The life and times of Penny McGenny
• Rant: hot dogs, condiments, pickle jars
• It’s 9/11 again
• Photoshop Tutorial: How to Re-produce the Clock Tower Scene from the famous Hill Valley Lightning storm of Nov. 12th 1955
• A weekend update
• Darn you all to heck!
• I could not decide which was more entertaining
• The vampire hunter
• Charles Dickens is plain boring
• If my cat and dog could talk
• And here we find our young protagonist …
• Are Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Smaller? An Investigative Journalism Piece
• And the most ironic book title of the year award goes to …
• Russell Brand biographical notes
• Same drink, different glass, true story
• Suspicious craigslist apartment listing
• I wish my cat were a dog
• A moment of Pure Idiocy
• The proverbial Charlie Sheen blog joke
• Rant: In defense of Story
• Some rhetorical questions
• Here comes the real world … again
• The CIA Cat Guided Bomb
• I don’t mean to be condescending … but
• Some sweet ‘n sour sentiments in sentences
• Dark humor: some laugh, some cry
• Seven ridiculous facts about me
• My first skydiving experience
• CULM
• What it means to be a slacker
• Man vs. White Space
• The evil gnome conspiracy
• A heartwarming memory of my beloved bed-ridden grandfather
• The empty drink containers
• The difference between sarcasm and satire
• Classroom madness
• Hell hath no fury
• A fire in government class
• Penny writes … about stuffs
• The coffee cycle
• The mystery of the number twelve
• A few bad writing habits
• My little rhyme
• Revenge tastes like peaches & cream
• I’m rooting for the Japanese in “Whale Wars”
• Angels go to McDonalds
• Reflections, sitting in the dentist chair

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