Dead Caterpillar


The universe is a vast cosmic conspiracy ...

If my cat and dog could talk

Monday, Jul 11th, 2011

Dog:

“HOME? OMG! YOU’RE HOME! HOME! OKAY! HI! HI! HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?! OMG! GOOD TO SEE YOU! PLAY? FUN!? LET’S PLAY! TREAT! TREAT? PLEASE—PLEASE—PLEASE—PLEASE. TREAT—TREAT! OKAY. WALK! WALK? WALK! WALK! PLEASE! PLEASE—PLEASE—PLEASE? FOOD? TRICK? I DO TRICK. I TRICK. TELL ME, I DO TRICK. CALL? I COME—REAL FAST! WATCH! FOOD? I DO TRICK! WALK? RUN? RUN OR WALK? BOTH! PLAY! PLAY! PLAY! PLAY! FUN! FUN! FUN! OMG! I THINK I’M GOING TO POOP MYSELF! ”

 

 

 

Cat:

“Home already? Alright, well … did you check my food bowl on the way in? My water bowl seemed a bit low … Might want to get on that. It’s very concerning. Also, the next time you are out shopping, make sure to buy the fine grain rather than the large grain litter. I find the fine grain softer on the paws. And do pick up a few cans of Fancy Feast Gourmet while you’re out, not the kind with shrimp but the kind with the savory little tuna bits. I’d like that. No big deal if you’re not going out anytime soon, whenever you get around to it of course, but preferably now. Alright, well, see you around. Nice chat we just had here. Good talk. And don’t forget fine grain not large grain litter. The large grain is rough on the skin and gets stuck between my claws. It vexes me. Thanks.”

Quiet the cricket sounds and leave a comment


− 5 = one