If you don’t know, I fucking hate tailgaters, with passion and zeal. And I have encountered oh so many of them here in VA Beach. Oh so many tailgating jerkholes. I got tired of rolling down the window and screaming things at them so I made this custom bumper sticker.
At first I was going to have it say something clever and punchy like “If you’re reading this, you’re too close” or “I break for tailgaters.” But I wanted bluntness, I didn’t want cute. I wanted to portray extreme annoyance (and possibly a hint of neurosis), and that’s why I used the small red serif font. I gave it quite a lot of thought. The seemingly bland sentence, “Get off my ass,” actually took hours of deliberation. I wanted to convey that tailgaters were both on my ass, and needed to get off it, but I was struggling to find the right words.
I believe I was in the shower when it hit me: Get off my ass. It’s simple, concise and communicates the message perfectly. I ran out of there like a dripping wet Archimedes and wrote it down. I found this site called Zazzle which will mail the sticker to you after you submit a design. And boy after I slapped that sucker on there, I haven’t had a tailgater since.